Every morning I have to take tablets and every night I have to take another tablet. I have to take others through the day if I need them. Every time it takes me two hours to be brave enough to take it. Every time I hate the feeling that I have to take medication to feel normal. I have to remind myself on why I take these tablets and my three reasons why I take them.
I think it would be easier if I wasn’t reminded of someone close to me saying Well you don’t want to be on tablets for the rest of your life? I’m sorry but these words have hurt me. I’m reminded every time when I need to take that one tablet.
Even though it hurts me to take them. This week someone else said to me Oh you’re having a bad day. Well have you took your meds? My condition means I have good and bad days, that particular day I was having a bad day.
My meds are not like when you have a headache, it instantly goes away and I feel better. I have days where I take my meds but still have those bad days. I’m not instantly going to feel better as it takes time to heal. I have a damaged brain, like a damaged knee or elbow I need to take tablets to let it heel. However the healing process is for the rest of my life.
I will have good days or high days and I have bad and very low days. Taking that one tablet means I can cope and hopefully their will be more good days then bad days.
I hate taking medication. I hate the thought of being on them for the rest of my life. I hate the fact they have restrictions.
What I have to remember is I’m taking my meds to heel my brain which is damaged and it’s not an instant fix.